


Imitation

by asherranceoftheheart



Series: Bouquet of Anemones and Oleanders [1]
Category: Jacksepticeye Universe, Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, I would say I'm sorry but I wouldn't mean it, Suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 11:50:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16681081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asherranceoftheheart/pseuds/asherranceoftheheart
Summary: Words spoken out loud can never be taken back ever again. Another blow has been dealt against his mask.I wonder how long it will take until it shatters?





	Imitation

“ — ou’re just a cheap imitation of Jack anyway!” Jackie had snarled.

At those words, the entire room was plunged into complete silence. Henrik and Marvin’s conversation puttered off at the hero’s outburst while the soft tapping of JJ’s fingers on the table also ceased. The spat out words hung heavily around their necks, preventing the others from speaking out and hopefully defuse the situation.

Chase dropped his hand to his side, familiar static filling his ears but he ignored it.

_ Not now. He doesn’t have time for  _ **_That_ ** _ now. _

The hero’s words finally caught up to him and his eyes widened with horror and guilt. Jackie stepped forward but immediately took it back when a caged look glittered in Chase’s eyes.

“Chase… I—!” Jackie’s mouth opened but the words seems to get stuck in his throat. It felt as if there was something wrapping itself around his throat tightly, making him choke the words down.

Chase closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. The next time he opened them, he plastered on a bright sunny smile that fooled absolutely  _ nobody _ . A fake laugh bubbled out of his chest (at the corner of his eyes, he could see Jackie and some of the others flinch at the sound of it)  and he shook his head.

“It’s fine Jackie. I shouldn’t have pestered you when you’re already so tired from your patrol,” said Chase with an all too cheery voice. “Sorry for wasting your time, I really should let you get some rest, right?”

In a silent room, filled with all the other egos scattered around the place, Chase has never felt more  **_alone and bitter_ ** than in that moment.

The static grew  **_louder_ ** .

Chase turned his back on all of them without another word. He couldn’t look at the others knowing that he’d only find growing pity in their eyes. The youtuber was about to head back straight into his bedroom when Jackie, finally finding his voice once more, called out for him again just as he was about to step out into the hallway.

“Wait, Chase!” Chase stopped but he didn’t turn to look at the hero. “You know that I didn’t mean those words… right?”

There was a heavy pause in the air before Chase finally answered after a few seconds.

“Sure,” said Chase, unable to hide the bitter smile that none of them saw inching up on his lips.

He didn’t see Jackie’s face fall in devastation nor did he see the other egos starting to recover from what had just happened and was gearing up to reassure the two of them. He was out of there, the moment his answer came out of his lips.

He doesn’t want to hear the false platitudes that will inevitably come streaming out of the other’s mouths in an attempt to pacify him.

_ Not when all of them knows that that’s what they all thought in the beginning and even up to the present as well. _

His bedroom door locked with a loud click behind him. Finally, he allowed most of his emotions to come out from where he had been trying to shove them away. He leaned back on the door, body shaking and attempting to get a handle on  _ the pain and rejection _ . He didn’t even notice that he had slid down the door until he made contact with the floor.

Chase pulled up his knees to his chest and pressed his forehead against them. A loud sob burst out of his chest and the held back tears started streaming down his cheeks.

_ The static slightly died down  _ **_and then there was a soft giggle._ **

If he had been any other person who was not used to this, he’d have thought it was just a part of his imagination. But Chase, used as he was to the torment, merely gritted his teeth and rubbed furiously at his eyes to stop the tears from flowing.

He glared at the dark corner of his room.

“What do you want?” Chase hissed, turning the pain in his heart into anger and used  **Him** as his target. “Here to laugh at me and my misery?”

Suddenly, the giggle wasn’t just in his mind anymore. It rang out in the silence of his room, the glitch in the sound feeling like needles being inserted in his ears. In a blink of an eye,  **He** was sat in his bed looking down at him with amusement in  **His** acid green eyes.

“ _ Oh͠ C҉has̵e,̴  _ l͏eav̸e th̵e bra͠v͟e̷ry͡ ͡aņd̢ her҉ois͢m ͠to our͡ ͏l̴oca͠l ̡h̶e̕r͘o̕.͢ ̴The̶ bra͠vado͜ ̧doesn’t ͠sui͠t ̷yo͠u.”  **He** purred, placing  **His** chin on the palm of  **His** hand as  **His** smile widened into that of a cheshire’s grin. “But ̸t̷h͡e͝n ̸aģa̛i̵n͟,̡ w͟hat͜ h̵e̵ ̶j̕u͟st̴ did w̸a̛sn’͡t͘ reall͜y͟ hero͜-̕l͟i͞ke͏ ͏of͢ him̨,̶ w̕asn̨’̧t ͘įt?”

At the mention of what had just happened, a sharp bolt of pain struck once more in Chase’s heart. His breath hitched.

“You were watching?” His voice cracked at the last word of his question but Chase couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed about it considering the prospect of  **Him** watching the events that had just gone down was even more horrifying.

**His** smile widened. The two of them knew the answer even before Chase asked it.

“I’m͝ ͟ _ a҉l͜way̸s ̡w͏a͠tchi̷ng͟ _ , r̸e͠me̢m͠ber?̸” He shrugged, eyes glimmering with a taunt.

Chase dropped his head back against his knees, his brave mask falling into pieces to reveal the tired, hurt man underneath. What use was pretending when  **He** had already seen most of his weaknesses and hurts anyway? After all,  **He** was  **_always there, always watching_ ** .

He didn’t see  **Him** standing up from  **His** seat on the bed and striding towards him with a hungry look on  **His** face. But he did feel  **Him** when  **He** kneeled right in front of him. The demon was close enough that Chase could feel the unnatural heat coming off  **Him** in waves.

A hand dropped on his head. Chase—knowing who the hand belonged to—flinched violently. The demon ignored his reaction and started to gently run  **His** fingers through the fluffy hair. The surprisingly gentle physical contact made Chase lean towards the gesture, eyes fluttering close in content.

_ Just as before, he didn’t see the  _ **_monstrous_ ** _ smile that had taken up His face. _

“Th͢e̴y n̡ever̴ ḑi͟d ̡t̡ake͞ yo͡u͜ s͢er͜io̡u̢s͜ļy̷,̶ di̡d̨n’͞t̨ ̶they C͝hąse? ͡On̛ t̸h̢e͠ d̷ay̛ tha̛t ̸yo͠u̡ we̵re ͢‘b͝o͘r͏n̡’ — ͟f͞o̴r̷ t̡he͟ ̧l̢a͜c̴k o̧f̷ ̧b̧ettȩr̴ w͞or͘d ̴f͜or it ͘— t͝he  _ goơd _ d̸o͟ctor̶ had ͘to͘ s͜a̛v̷e ̧y̶o̶u ̵f̵ro̸m t͡he͟ bri̛nk ͏o͜f dea͟t͟h ͟of͠ ҉y̵our̴ own̢ makin͜g.̴”  **He** chuckled,  **His** grip on Chase’s hair briefly tightened before it relaxed once more at Chase’s soft whine of displeasure.  **He** continued playing with the other man’s hair, occasionally digging  **His** fingers deep into the fluff to massage his scalp. “O͠h̴ ̢w̵ho ͜a͞r̡e w͠e k̢iddi̷ng͢?͞ ̵Th̴e̴  **_go͘ơd doctor̕_ ** ca͢n͢ nevȩr̷ s̢av͠e anyo̡ne, not͘ ̡e͠v̧en̕ if͠ he ha̛ḑ al̵l ͝t̷he ͞k̢n͢owl͜ed̢ģe͞ ͝of͡ t̶he̷ ̡un͠i҉v̸ers҉e҉ rig҉h͘t̨ in͝ ͏hi͢s̴ ͡ve͢ry h̢an͜ds̴.͝”

**His** fingers slid across Chase’s hair (the green eyes glittered with something malicious when Chase involuntarily  _ melted _ into the gentle gesture) and into the back of his neck. Chase could feel  **Him** lean even closer until he could feel the slight static that came off the demon, they feel like tiny pricks of electric needles on his skin.

“So ̶te̡ll ̡me,͏ ̡Cha̷s̕e… R͝e̸mind͏ ͘me̸ ͜aga̵i̸n͏,͟ ͜who ͞sav̴ed͢ yo͜u fro̢m̴ t͜h͡e bull͜et ̵y̨ou sh͡o͡t̨ stra̧i̡g͞h͏t int͟o y̴our ̕he̛ad̵?̡” The hand on the back of his neck tightened, sharp nails digging into his skin even as the demon continued on with the soft tone that  **He** was using.

Chase bit his tongue. The static in his mind grew into a massive roar, acting as needles stabbing consistently into and out of his brain. He hissed in pain when the demon’s nails dug in even deeper at his non-answer.

_ He’s going to have to hide those marks later on… _

“ **_A͡nsw̛er̛ ͢m͝e̷,͠ ͡Ch͏a̵se҉ ̴Bro̴d͝y.̴_ ** ”  **He** hissed,  **His** warmth and  **His** presence engulfing him,  _ drowning _ Chase in  **Him** . “Tęl͡l͏ me̷ ̶the na҉me̵ of t̴he p̷ers̷on ̷wh͝o̕ ̴sav̷ed͟ y̡o̶u̧r̛ ̧mi͘se̕r̸ab͜le̴ l̸if͞e͢.̸”

The father started shaking his head, pursing his lips in some form of defiance despite the headache and the nails that broke skin. He could feel the warmth of his blood leaking out from the small holes  **He** made.

“No,” he says, with his voice hoarse and absolutely wrecked. “ **I refuse.** ”

Despite the debilitating pain in his heart, despite his overwhelming urge to completely break down even in front of  **Him** , he  _ refused _ to give  **Him** the satisfaction of what  **He** wants. He dug his nails into his clothed legs, the muted stinging pain somehow managing to clear his mind of the haze of static that had been growing in it.

He raised his head, slightly grimacing at the claws that went in deeper, and looked  **Him** straight in  **His** eyes.

The demon’s expression was inscrutable to him. It was devoid of the small smile of pleasure that it had earlier when he began defying  **His** wish.  **He** never did like it whenever he fought back. So he was prepared for what was going to happen next.

**He** suddenly pulled him into  **His** arms, pressing Chase’s face against  **His** shoulders and then the pain began as the static surrounded the two of them.

A shrill scream ripped itself out of his lips as the static dove into him almost  _ hungrily _ . It forced itself into his mouth, his eyes, his ears, and every single pore in his body and started  _ burning  _ and  _ tearing _ at him from the inside. He wanted to get out of  **His** hold but  **He** wouldn’t have that. The hand cradling the back of his head pushed his face further into  **His** shoulder, and the arm that had hooked itself around his waist tightened against his struggles.

It was starting to get difficult to differentiate where he begins and  **He** ends.  **He** was devouring him, taking every bit of his existence into  **_Him_ ** **.**

**He** sobbed and he chuckled into  **His** …

...

No. 

**_No_ ** . 

That was  _ wrong _ . 

_ He _ was the one sobbing and now  **His** chuckles had grown into outright cackling right next to his ears while  **He** watched him struggle to get a hold of himself, to keep his head above the deep ocean of  **His** static.  **He** dropped  **His** lips right next to his ears, and he winced as the broken glitching of  **His** voice pierced his eardrums.

“ _ Ǫh Chase͠,͜  _ ̸I͞ kne̛w̡ ̵y̕o͝u ͜wou͘ldn͠’t make̶ ̶įt͝  _ ţh͝at _ ̸e͢a͠s̷y̸ for ͟m͜e.͞”  **He** cooed,  **His** green eyes glinting with malice and amusement.  **His** hand stroked his hair in a deceivingly tender manner. “But̶ t̶hat’̛s w̛ha͘t͞ m͠a͠k̵es͢ i҉t̛ so mųc͘h͠ mo͢r̕e fu̷n to͞ br̨eak͘ y͢o͜u do͢wn ͡i͞nto̢ p͏i͝e̢c͢es.”

Chase shuddered as the static sent another rocking wave of pain throughout his entire being. He shut his eyes tightly and despite how much he hated it, he pushed himself into  **His** arms, using  **Him** as some twisted form of stable rock to stop himself from drowning.

“W̴ell̶, i̶t ͠d͝o͢esn̢’t̕ ͘ma͡tt͝er̨ ͠if͠ you do̵n’̛t sa̴y̴ it͠ now͜ ͢an͞y̨w̶ay,͝” says  **He** , as  **He** pushed him away from  **Him** none too gently. He fell to the floor on his back. The static finally dissolved and left him gasping and heaving on the floor. “Y͝ou’̧r͝e͠ ̢gonna ͟b͞r͜e͟ak͞ i͡ne̶vi͏tably ̧an͢d͏ t̢h̡en ͝thę  _ r͟e͢a̶l _ ҉f̶u̧n wi̸l̴l t҉r̶ul͘y ͢b͢e̕gin̕.”

Busy as he was in trying to piece himself back together, he didn’t notice that  **He** had crouched right next to him until  **He** placed a hand on his hair again and gave it a soft ruffle.

“So͠…̷ G͢o̡ a҉h̛e͜ad͡, pe̷t.̛ Ke̶ep͏ up your҉ pret͡en͡d̶ing. Keep͘ u͠p th̷at ̛b͠r͜av͜e̴, ̕s̛t̡ubborn f̴a͞ce t͞hat̷ ͟y̴ou̕ ha̛v̡e̛ ͝g͡o̧i̸ņg ̴on,̶”  **He** says as  **He** leaned down to press a vile kiss on his forehead, making Chase cringe back from  **Him** weakly. “B̷u̢t so̵o̴n en͞o̵u̢gh, ̕y̷o̧u’͟ll g҉et͞ ͠tir͞e͜d o̡f̷ ͝p͠r̡etendin͞g̕ an͢d t͡h͞en҉ ͠you̴’l̸l sa̴y ͡ **My Name͠.** ”

Through hazy eyes, he saw  **Him** straighten up and stepped away from.  **He** started walking back into the shadows, static swirling around  **Him** rapidly. Just before  **He** disappeared,  **He** paused and then looked back at his pitiful form in the floor.  **His** green eyes glowing with hunger and  **His** smile covering nearly the entire length of  **His** face.

“S͞ee y͜ou̵ ̧s͘oon͢,̛ ̛ **pet̸** .” With those final words,  **He** vanished into a burst of static.

Chase didn’t stand up. He continued laying down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with a blank look. A single tear dropped down his cheek.

“ _ What am I supposed to do, Jack? _ ” He called out desperately to his creator, despite knowing that he would never be able to answer. “I’m just so  **_tired_ ** …”

The emotional and physical blows of the recent events finally took its toll on him. His eyes started drooping down and he didn’t resist it. He’ll take this time to recharge—hopefully it was a dreamless sleep night tonight—and tomorrow…

Tomorrow, he’ll put up the cracked mask again.

_ And keep on pretending just as he had always done. _

**Author's Note:**

> This one is connected to the other piece entitled Down that I’ve written before. Also this wasn’t too hard to write but like… wow procrastination. So I’ve gotten this little monster out while getting some more ideas for this little verse. Hope you guys enjoy!


End file.
